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Christmas, Kim and Santa’s black slaves

Merry Christmas, everyone….Hohohoho!

First off, a plump old man died with supposed supernatural powers and supposedly brought people gifts died last Saturday. Kim Jong Il, the enigmatic Dear Leader of North Korea (DPRK) for nearly 2 decades, died last Saturday. While not nearly as jolly as Santa, Kim’s career is just as entertaining as that of the old elf’s reindeer escapades. His reign saw him kidnap a director who made him a Communist version of Godzilla (Pulgasari), had lobsters airflown to his private bulletproof train when he traveled (while his people starved to death) and had a state religion that equated him as the son of God (his father Kim Il Sung being worshiped as practically God).

Kim Jong Il, ronery Dear Leader

Kim was widely believed in North Korea to have power over the weather. He is succeeded by his youngest son, Kim Jong Un (whom according to the computer game Homefront will unite the Koreas and invade the U.S.). State media reported Saturday that Kim Jong-Il’s “loving care” for the North Korean people lingered even beyond his death, with residents in the capital enjoying a special treat of fresh fish. Maybe he will be turned into beads…


Next, a lesser well known fact about Santa Claus. The bringer of Yuletide joy to good boys and girls was based off a Dutch character known as Sinterklass. Sinterklass is a former bishop of Turkey who now resides in Spain and takes a ship each year to the Netherlands.

Santa Claus

Instead of elves in green, he is attended by a retinue of black faced slaves known as the Black Petes. Due to the obvious racist connotations, the Black Petes are now explained as his friends rather than slaves, and their black faces from being chimney sweeps.

Sinterklass and his Black Petes


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